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Thursday, February 28, 2013

Assertiveness is awesome!

Last night as I was falling to sleep, I heard the words "Assertiveness is awesome" whispered to me in my sleep. I immediately woke up and grabbed my Blackberry and put it on my timeline on Facebook as a Post. I thought....why not look up the term "assertiveness" in the dictionary to make sure of the meaning. What I found was outstanding. 

assertive |Ι™ΛˆsΙ™rtiv|
having or showing a confident and forceful personality: patients should be more assertive with their doctors.
assertively adverb,
assertiveness noun

Assertiveness is a particular mode of communication. Dorland's Medical Dictionary defines assertiveness as:

a form of behavior characterized by a confident declaration or affirmation of a statement without need of proof; this affirms the person's rights or point of view without either aggressively threatening the rights of another (assuming a position of dominance) or submissively permitting another to ignore or deny one's rights or point of view.[1]
During the second half of the 20th century, assertiveness was increasingly singled out as a behavioral skill taught by many personal development experts, behavior therapists, and cognitive behavioral therapists. Assertiveness is often linked to self-esteem. The term and concept was popularized to the general public by books such as Your Perfect Right: A Guide to Assertive Behavior (1970) by Robert E. Alberti, andWhen I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How To Cope Using the Skills of Systematic Assertiveness Therapy (1975) by Manuel J. Smith.

 The goals of assertiveness training include:[4]

• increased awareness of personal rights
• differentiation between non-assertiveness and assertiveness
• differentiation between passive–aggressiveness and aggressiveness
• learning both verbal and non-verbal assertiveness skills.
As a communication style and strategy, assertiveness is thus distinguished from both aggression and passivity. How people deal with personal boundaries, their own and those of other people, helps to distinguish between these three concepts. Passive communicators do not defend their own personal boundaries and thus allow aggressive people to abuse or manipulate them through fear. Passive communicators are also typically not likely to risk trying to influence anyone else. Aggressive people do not respect the personal boundaries of others and thus are liable to harm others while trying to influence them. A person communicates assertively by overcoming fear of speaking his or her mind or trying to influence others, but doing so in a way that respects the personal boundaries of others. Assertive people are also willing to defend themselves against aggressive people.


Assertive communication involves respect for the boundaries of oneself and others. It also presumes an interest in the fulfillment of needs and wants through cooperation.[5]

According to the textbook Cognitive Behavior Therapy (2008), "Assertive communication of personal opinions, needs, and boundaries has been ... conceptualized as the behavioral middle ground, lying between ineffective passive and aggressive responses".[6] Such communication "emphasizes expressing feelings forthrightly, but in a way that will not spiral into aggression".[7]

If others' actions threaten one's boundaries, one communicates this to prevent escalation.[8]

In contrast, "aggressive communication" judges, threatens, lies, breaks confidences, stonewalls, and violates others' boundaries.

At the opposite end of the dialectic is "passive communication". Victims may passively permit others to violate their boundaries. At a later time, they may come back and attack with a sense of impunity or righteous indignation.

Assertive communication attempts to transcend these extremes by appealing to the shared interest of all parties; it "focuses on the issue, not the person".[9] Aggressive and/or passive communication, on the other hand, may mark a relationship's end,[10] and reduce self-respect.

Assertive people

Assertive people tend to have the following characteristics:[citation needed]

• They feel free to express their feelings, thoughts, and desires.
• They are "also able to initiate and maintain comfortable relationships with [other] people"[11]
• They know their rights.
• They have control over their anger. This does not mean that they repress this feeling; it means that they control anger and talk about it in a reasoning manner.
• "Assertive people ... are willing to compromise with others, rather than always wanting their own way ... and tend to have good self-esteem".[12]
• "Assertive people enter friendships from an 'I count my needs. I count your needs' position".[13]

Fogging[14] consists of finding some limited truth to agree with in what an antagonist is saying. More specifically, one can agree in part or agree in principle.

Negative inquiry
Negative inquiry[14] consists of requesting further, more specific criticism.

Negative assertion
Negative assertion[14] is agreement with criticism without letting up demand.

I-statements can be used to voice one's feelings and wishes from a personal position without expressing a judgment about the other person or blaming one's feelings on them.


Some authors stress that assertiveness is not always practiced in a balanced way, especially by those new to the process: "[One] problem with the concept of assertiveness is that it is both complex and situation-specific. ... Behaviors that are assertive in one circumstance may not be so in another".[19] More particularly, while "unassertiveness courts one set of problems, over-assertiveness creates another."[20] Assertiveness manuals recognize that "many people, when trying out assertive behaviour for the first time, find that they go too far and become aggressive."[21]

Also, in the late 1970s and early 1980s, in the heyday of assertiveness training, sometimes so-called assertiveness training techniques were distorted, and "people were told to do some pretty obnoxious things in the name of assertiveness. Like blankly repeating some request over and over until you got your way".[22] Divorced from respect for the rights of others, so-called assertiveness techniques could be psychological tools that might be readily abused: The line between repeatedly demanding with sanctions ("broken record") versus coercive nagging, emotional blackmail, or bullying, could be a fine one, and the caricature of assertiveness training as "training in how to get your own way ... or how to become as aggressive as the next person"[23] was perpetuated.

After carefully studying the term and seeing the different aspects of it, especially after being so shy most of my life, I have come to the conclusion that God has blessed me with the assertiveness that I need for my ministry and my personal life. His voice speaking it to me last night is the proof. I used to be horribly shy and I allowed people to use me most of my life. I was passive in everything as people wiped their feet all over me gladly. God has given me the assertiveness to "get 'er done and for that....Lord I thank You. 

When I speak a thing, you can bet the farm on it that there is truth and lots of experience there. I don't teach or preach anything in which I am not familiar in some way. I have studied the Word for approximately 25 years or more and I enjoyed every bit of my studying. It was a long but very enjoyable process. When someone asks me a question, I try to answer it as biblically as I can. I've answered questions more fleshly years ago, only to mess up situations and I was easily proven wrong. There is nothing that the flesh can offer. God is the answer to all things. If you answer His are always right. 

Assertiveness is awesome. Try it, you'll like it. Defend the "you" that God has made you to be.

Deuteronomy 8:18,

Essie Scott

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Prayer for NBBI from Minister W. Wiggins

Esther R. Scott,
Your Tweet got a reply!
 Esther R. Scott

Minister W. Wiggins
10:20 PM - 27 Feb 13

NBBI note to students

RevEssie Scott

To those interested in NBBI Bible lessons: There are a few of you who haven't returned the application although you said you were interested. We need the app first. We operate on a "give and give basis" as not to harass anyone. Once you send in, then you will receive the free lessons. 

To those of you who are enjoying them: We thank you, are glad for you and are keeping you in prayer. 

India and Africa: App!
And to those who thought it wouldn't work: We are still praying for you. God is on a wonderful move with us. For that, we thank him.

Fwd: [NewBirthMinistries] Welcome to our new members!


Thank you for joining up with us! God bless you and may you find what you seek!  You are now on our prayer list as well. Remember to send in your prayer requests!

Gods love to you.

Rev Essie Scott
Various videos:

Annual Cost-of-Living Adjustment

Annual Cost-of-Living Adjustment

Monday, February 25, 2013

Good news about NBBI!

Just wanted to share with all of you that we are getting members nearly every day. It's gotten to be so much that I had to buy a program to keep the students names in. God is good! He is on a move with us. 

It took me years to learn to do right, get everything in order, make it all legal and right in the eyes of God and then God acted upon it. He's dipped us in the anointing! 

Please pray for every member in our complete ministry? Keep all of our brothers and sisters in prayer. We lost a lot throughout the years while WE were learning ourselves, but with the Grace of God, they WILL return. Actually they are, slowly but surely. Slow and steady wins the race amen?

God bless,

Rev Essie

Fwd: Sign for Pastor Saeed's freedom in Iran.

ACLJ - American Center for Law and Justice

ACLJ Take Action  |  Contribute

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What started as a legal effort to free an American pastor from one of Iran's most deadly prisons has turned into an international movement.

On Saturday morning, our petition to free Pastor Saeed Abedini – a U.S. citizen – hit 300,000 signatures, and more are adding their names each day.

At the March 5 U.N. meetings in Geneva, Switzerland, our legal team will be empowered with hundreds of thousands signatures, but we must be relentless in our support for Pastor Saeed. He is still in chains for the Gospel.

Last week we learned that Iran is trying to force him to deny Christ, but he is courageously resisting and has vowed to never yield.

Pastor Saeed has not forgotten his Savior. We must not forget Pastor Saeed. If you have not yet joined the global movement to Save Saeed, now is the time.

Sign the Petition to Save an American Pastor from Iranian Prison, and pray for him.

Jordan Sekulow
ACLJ Executive Director

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Kings Kid!

Good Monday morning! 25Feb13

Galatians 5:13  For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.
14  For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
15  But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another.
16  This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.

Too much sexual abuse

Newspapers are reading like soft porn anymore with all of the sexual abuse. Jesus come quickly! Amen. 

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Good night! Praise the Lord tomorrow...

Smooth Jazz 24'7 on SKY.FM

Smooth Jazz 24'7 on SKY.FM

Fwd: [NewBirthMinistries] Ask God scriptures


Ask God scripture jpeg

Asking God scriptures

Blessing of multiplication

 I wish you a blessing of Multiplication today, in Jesus name. Amen.   Rev Essie

Deuteronomy 1:10  The Lord your God hath multiplied you, and, behold, ye are this day as the stars of heaven for multitude.
11  (The Lord God of your fathers make you a thousand times so many more as ye are, and bless you, as he hath promised you!)

The LORD bless you and protect you!
The LORD deal kindly and graciously with you!
The LORD bestow His favor upon you and 
grant you peace!
(Numbers 6:24-26)© New Birth Ministries is a 501(c)(3) charitable organization.
Various videos:

Friday, February 22, 2013

Good Morning Friday Feb 22 13!

May the Lord fill you with Holy Spirit power so that nothing that comes against you shall prosper today!  


Jeremiah 33

 3  Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.

God's phone number......333.

Have a blessed Friday!

Rev Essie 

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Thursday, February 21, 2013

Fwd: Soaking Service led by my friend Rev. Danny

Reply-To: Daniel Lutz <>

Courtyard by Marriott hotel in Settlers Ridge 5100 Campbells Run Road , Pittsburgh, PA

I would like to invite you to a refreshing time in the Holy Spirit.

Everyone is welcome to come!

Exhortation Ministries soaking Services have been great! The Holy Spirit has moved in powerful ways and the Lord has been wonderfully glorified!! New faces, young people are getting blessed!!!

... ......If you attended and want to share a testimony, please send them to and give us permission to post if we desire. Thank you!!!
... ......
This call is for a people of God that mounted up wings like eagles and want to wait on the Lord.(Isa 40:31) and would like to have their strength Renewed!!!

Would you like to spend some quality time with the Lord and other believers?
Would you like to be strengthened and renewed in the Lord?
Would you love to experience time with the Holy Spirit?
If you answered yes to any of these questions then we would love to see you there.

What is a Soaking Service?

You may ask; why do we call this a soaking service? Soaking or should I say, "saturation" is not a new concept or phenomenon, It's just a boost or acceleration into what some would call "waiting on the Lord." Soaking takes "waiting on the Lord" to a whole new level, ushering the participant into deeper realization of the communion with the Holy Spirit.

The term "Soaking" is simply a phrase we use. To us soaking simply means, let's corporately enter into the Presence of God through intimate prayer and worship. We wait to hear what God wants to say and do and while we are waiting on the Lord we absorb and enjoy the presence of God. When we soak in God's presence, we are in a wonderful place of rest and awareness of the Holy Spirit. This essentially is what "soaking" is. Some may be familiar with this concept and for others it may be completely new.

The bible gives many expressions how God spoke in the past. The greatest truth revealed through his Word is that He is the Lord of all Lords. Does God still speak to us today? Absolutely! In what ways does He speak to you? Moses heard Him through a burning bush! (Ex 3:2) John heard a loud voice, as of a trumpet! (Rev 1:10) The disciples heard God's voice come out of the cloud, saying, "This is My beloved Son. "Hear Him!" (Luke 9:35)

We don't have trumpets, burning bushes or clouds that talk in this service, but we do have the same Holy Spirit that has been seen in all the descriptions above. God, who at various times and in various ways spoke in time past to the fathers by the prophets, has in these last days spoken to us by His Son, whom He has appointed heir of all things (Heb11:1-2)

We invite you to come to this service hungry and leave filled. Many have come and are blessed, and the testimonies are powerful. People are being set on fire with more passion. They are being set free, transformed, renewed and even healed. God is uniting believers who are hungry and thirsty for more of God.

We welcome all to come into a Soaking Service and experience it for themselves. This is an opportunity for those who are hungry for more of the Lord's presence to draw deeper into a greater intimacy with God. There is no program to follow and no schedule to maintain, this is about spending quality time with the Lord Jesus. He is always faithful to show up. It is a great time to focus on our relationship with the Lord.

Luke 6:21
Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be filled.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Andrew Wommack said it all! Love it!

Discipleship Versus Evangelism
By Andrew Wommack

Most Christians believe that the primary purpose of salvation is to avoid hell. That may have been what you were taught, but it's not what the Bible teaches. In fact, that kind of thinking serves to inoculate people from the truth of the Gospel concerning salvation.

If we simply ceased to exist at death and if there was no hell, I still believe that Jesus would have come to earth and died for us. Why? Because salvation is about having a relationship with God. God's main reason for sending Jesus was to restore fellowship. It just so happens that as we restore our relationship with God through salvation, one of the perks—one of the great benefits—is that we miss hell and gain heaven.

Nowhere in the Scripture did Jesus tell us to go and make converts. Let's look at what is commonly referred to as the Great Commission, found in Matthew 28:18-20. It says this:

And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

Jesus told them to teach others to observe all the things that He had commanded. The Greek word for "teach" in this passage is literally the word that is translated "disciple." The New International Version translated this as "Go and make disciples." The emphasis here is that the Lord commanded us to make disciples, not converts. Somewhere along the way, the church has changed the emphasis of this message from making disciples to getting people born again, leaving discipleship for the "mature."

Did you know that Jesus never preached on being "born again"? In the third chapter of John, He talked to Nicodemus about the spiritual birth compared to the natural birth, but He never taught or preached to the people about being "born again." You may be asking yourself, "How can Andrew say that? That's the centerpiece of every evangelistic effort." You're right—it is—but I believe that the Bible teaches that the church has placed the emphasis in the wrong place. By making that the focus, the church is actually lowering the standards, leaving people with the misconception that all they need to do is just be born again and discipleship is optional. That is not what Jesus commanded.

Statistics say that 33 percent of all "born-again Christians" still support things like abortion and New Age thinking. That certainly does not reflect the attitude of a person who's truly been born again. Billy Graham was quoted as saying that only 15 percent of all the people who professed to be Christian are truly born again. Here is something else that may surprise you: Kathryn Kuhlman said that only 15 percent of those who were healed at her services kept their healing when they left the service. These numbers should tell you something about how success is measured in ministry.

I am not saying that being born again and living eternally with Jesus is not important—it's essential! I'm saying that we have changed the message from the way Jesus taught it. We have reduced the definition of "born again" to the point that in our society today, it has actually become socially popular to say we're born again and gain acceptance in certain circles.

Jesus said that we are to make disciples, followers of Christ. When we ask people to accept Jesus as their Savior, we need to teach them that this is a total commitment of one's life to the Lord. It means becoming a disciple of Jesus.

Jesus' attitude toward evangelism is much different than that of most Christians. Jesus is more concerned with the quality of ministry than the quantity.

John 2:23-25 says,

Now when he was in Jerusalem at the passover, in the feast day, many believed in his name, when they saw the miracles which he did. But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men, And needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man.

It says that Jesus did not commit Himself unto them although they believed on Him. The words "believed" and "commit" here are actually from the same Greek word. So, you could say that they believed on Him, but He did not believe in them. He knew they were not disciples. He wouldn't commit Himself to them, because He didn't want man testifying out of his own ability.

When we hear that someone has been born again, we are ready to put them to work, especially if they are public figures with recognizable names. It's like we are trying to sell a product by associating it with someone famous. That totally violates what Paul said in 1 Timothy 3 concerning placing a novice in a position of authority. These are the kinds of shortcuts believers resort to when they limit the true definition of being born again to a simple confession of Jesus as Lord.

Mahatma Gandhi once said, "I would have been a Christian if I hadn't met one."Before leading the revolution in India, he was exiled in Africa. There, he was seeking the Lord, reading the New Testament. He had become convinced that Christianity was the true religion and that Jesus was the Christ.

He decided to attend a Presbyterian church service for the purpose of confessing Jesus as his Lord. But, because of the color of his skin, they wouldn't let him in. Those people who were so determined to evangelize did not have enough of the nature of God on the inside to look past his color. He then led 750 million people into a pagan religion.

On a trip to India some years ago, I learned there were 12,000 Methodists in the city of Ahmedabad, the result of a great revival in the 1890s. When I asked the head of the church in that city how many were truly born again, he responded by saying it was only two or three families. The rest were still worshiping other gods. All they had done was add Jesus to their list of gods to make sure they didn't miss one. They were obviously not disciples. To those in India, Jesus was just another of the thousands of gods. That is not God's idea of evangelism.

John 8:30-32 says,

As he spake these words, many believed on him. Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

People often say that if you know the truth, the truth will set you free. That is not correct. More correctly, these verses say that when you continue in the Word, then you will know the truth, and the truth you know sets you free. In these verses, Jesus was speaking to those who already believed on Him. Jesus knew that only those who became disciples would truly become free. There is more to believing than just mouthing words.

What we ought to be preaching is that God calls us into discipleship, and it begins with making a commitment to the Lord. If we understood that and acted on it, we would have much greater success evangelizing the world.

Consider this—if you evangelized 1,000 people per year for fifteen years, you would end up with 15,000 new believers, assuming they were all genuine conversions. If you led 1 person to the Lord every six months and spent the next six months discipling that person so they could reproduce themselves, what do you think would happen? In one year, there would only be 2 disciples. However, after sixteen-and-a-half years, if each continued to reproduce themselves every six months, there would be no one left on earth to evangelize. Jesus' method of discipleship would produce nearly 7 billion disciples in less than seventeen years. discipleship evangelism works!

I really believe that the church has missed it in the area of evangelism, making converts and not disciples. By now, you may be thinking, Andrew is right, but I have no idea how to disciple anyone. That's best left to those who are more knowledgeable in the Word of God.Well, I have good news: If you can read, you can change a life!

I have a study guide called The Complete Discipleship Evangelism 48-Lesson Course. I like to call it "Discipleship for Dummies." It will take you through the foundational truths of Christianity in forty-eight lessons. It's simple, it's easy, and it's effective. All you do is read a short story, ask prepared questions, give the prepared answers by looking up scriptures, and watch God work in the life of another. You can't miss with this.